


Can I Come Into the Out Now

by Saint_Valentine



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29359737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saint_Valentine/pseuds/Saint_Valentine
Summary: Just a short Reddie oneshot. Enjoy. I thought it was funny.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 4





	Can I Come Into the Out Now

“The wind whips cold around my shoulders as I jog down the street, coming to a halt in front of that all too familiar opening in the sidewalk. The bars had been broken and tossed aside long ago, making it easy for me to slip through the opening. I drop with a splash into the tunnel, grimacing. My path is lit only by the sun filtering through the opening, until I click on my flashlight. The sewer before me is wet and warm, and smells like---”  
“Eddie’s mom’s underwear.” Richie hisses in my ear. I spin haphazardly and land a punch on his shoulder.   
“Assaulted by my own doctor!” he drops to his knees and groans, gripping his shoulder. “I’m suing you for malpractice.”   
“Beep beep Richie!” I try and hold in my laughter but it becomes impossible when he starts to pout. “How many times do I have to tell you not to interrupt me when I’m working?”   
“Apparently one more.” he stands up. “But I swear, I have a good reason.”   
“Ok?”   
“The Losers are coming over.”   
I click off my computer and grab the mini rainbow flag out of my pencil cup, and the pen with a unicorn topper. I pull the pride tapestry off the wall and flip it over, revealing the American flag, and pin it back up.   
“I’ll do the upstairs.” Richie dashes out of the room.   
“I’ll double-check when you’re done.” and I run out into the kitchen, moving half of the clean dishes off the shelves and into the dishwasher, and piling everything from the dishwasher in the sink. I hide the cookbooks and grab the “Chef Daddy Needs A Kiss” apron off its hook. I take the “Even God Keeps Pillows on Her Couch” quilt off the back of the sofa and drag away all of the fringy-y plush things. I pull the streamers off of the drapes and run them up to the pile.   
“Did you do our bedroom?” I demand.   
“Why would they go into our bedroom? They’re straight, not perverts.”   
“Because that’s where the bathroom is?” I groan loudly. “When are they coming?”   
He glances at his watch. “Ten minutes?”   
“Richie!” I dash into our bedroom, moving the “His and His” pillows out and replacing them with plain blue linen. The wall hanging from our fifth anniversary comes down and so do the flags off the balcony and the porch. All but one shampoo bottle are removed, and I hide Richie’s toothbrush and razors.  
The doorbell rings.   
“Coming!” I shout. Swinging the door open, I see Bev, with her husband Tom’s arm around her shoulder. And Stan and Bill behind them. And Mike waving his arm from the base of the steps. “Hey, guys! Come in, come in!”   
“Hi Eddie!” they chorus, flooding past me.   
“Nice place, Kasbrek.” Mike taps me on the shoulder. “Where’s trashm-”   
“I heard my name?” Richie slides out of the kitchen. I can see the Kitchen Dildo(don’t ask) behind his back and I pale. How did I forget… “I’ve just gotta use the closet.”   
“Closet?” Bev questions.   
“He needs a blanket.” I interrupt, slipping out of Mike’s grip. “I’ll help you. Help yourselves to drinks and stuff…” I holler over my shoulder, grabbing the thing from him and shoving him up the stairs.   
We argue in whispers loud enough to be heard down the block.   
“How did we forget the kitchen dildo-”   
“I don’t know, the downstairs was your job-”   
“This is way too close, Richie!”  
“You think I don’t know that?”   
I open the closet door in a huff, shove the dildo in and slam the door before the mess has a chance to fall out.   
“Is there anything else we’re forgetting?” I massage my temples, sighing.   
“I don’t think so…” He gasps softly. “Eddie if you turn around you’ll kill us all so I’m going to tell you what’s behind you and you need to stay entirely silent. Ok?”   
“Richie…” I narrow my eyes.   
“Promise me, Edward.” he snarls.   
“Ok, ok, what’s-”   
“Our wedding photo is still on the nightstand.”   
“What?” I shriek.   
“Hey, you promised-”   
“How could we be so stupid? Go get the fucking picture, now!”   
“Ok, ok, I’m g-”   
“Eddie?” Bev’s suddenly behind me. “Is everything ok? We heard you scream.”   
“He’s up here alone with me, what do you expect?” Richie jokes, tossing an arm around my shoulder.   
“Oh, beep beep, Richie.” My voice shakes but I try to smile, to make it seem normal.   
“I’m just gonna use your bathroom then, while I’m up here. K?” Bev heads toward our room.   
“No!” we both shout. Richie grabs her and hugs her.   
“I needed to hug you first!” Richie holds her and rocks her left and right. “Mmmm, I missed you Beverly Hills!”   
“Uh, ok, missed you too.” She chuckles. “But I really need to pee.”   
I grab the photo off the nightstand and hold it behind my back.   
“Eddie, come on, call off your dog.” Tom laughs too loud. His shirt is too tight. I shake my head.   
“Off, Richie.” I play along. “Bad dog.”   
He whimpers jokingly but let's go of Bev. She passes by into the bathroom and Tom turns to go down the stairs.   
“Cost is clear,” Richie whispers, wrapping his arms around me from behind and kissing my neck softly. “Hide the picture.”   
“This sucks,” I whisper back, opening the closet door.   
“Yeah, but what choice do we-” the mountain of queer gear fall on us. We are buried in pride flags and daddy jokes and sex toys and lube and surrounded by a loud crack of thunder.   
Bev comes charging out of our room and Tom comes back up the stairs, the rest of the Losers on his tail.   
“What the hell-” Bev gasps and blushes. Mike starts laughing like a maniac.   
I grip the wedding photo with both hands and my eyes go wide.   
Richie smiles awkwardly. “Surprise?”

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think in the comments!


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